I have officially changed my name on all the required legal documents. (Just my passport left!) When we decided to get married I knew I wanted changing my last name to be part of our marriage process, but I never anticipated feeling anything other than excitement when it came time to do it. Not only is it daunting to think about how many things have your legal name on them and how many offices you need to contact, but the idea of changing your name, part of who you are, is a difficult thing to chew on.
We received our marriage license back from the great (arguably the best) state of Texas about a month and a half after we got married. When we received it I knew it was time to start the time consuming, frustrating process of changing my name with all the government offices here in Chicago. I was a little taken aback with how sad I felt myself getting over not having "Rios" at the end of my name anymore.
Rios is my father's name. My daddy, who has provided for our family through the good and the rough times, who dropped parachuted army men from the second floor of our house in San Antonio with me, the man who has loved my mother for over 30 years and has loved me and makes sure I know it with his morning phone calls since the day I began on this journey of life. It's the name my strong, beautiful mother chose to take as she promised her life to him, just as I have promised mine to Grant. It's the name my sisters, two of my soul mates in this life, still have. I'm so far away from my family, the people I love so much sometimes I can feel my heart hurt when I stop and think about the distance between us and somehow, having a shared name among us, made me feel like I was carrying a visible souvenir of them with me. And I was about to get rid of it. Standing in line at the Social Security office (1.5 hours, plenty of time to think things over), it all hit me and a little sadness began to creep in where I thought only excitement would live.
So, I made the decision to take Rios as a second middle name. The lady in the window told me people typically opt to replace their middle names with their maiden names. I couldn't imagine doing this because Alyse was the name that my parents chose just for me when they welcomed me into the world. So, I chose to take two middle names. It's a little bit of a mouthful, but I couldn't begin to imagine having it any other way. Being able to carry Rios with me everywhere I go is worth having people stumble over it a few times.
We've officially received our first piece of mail that's addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Carter." We received lots of wedding gifts addressed to us that way, but to see it on an official document was a really exciting thing. Mr. and Mrs., for better or worse, for the rest of our messy, beautiful lives.
